The problem: I found sexting on my child’s phone.
Talk about digital footprints and that sexting can / will be seen by others.
Do: Emphasize to your child, ideally before they have their own phone, that once they text a message or photo, they no longer have control over who sees it. The standard for every text they send should be: “Would I be OK if this ended up being seen by my teachers, my classmates, my parents, and my future employers?” A small indiscretion can quickly lead to painful public humiliation, and a photo, once online, can stay there forever. (Read more about sexting, get an expert’s advice on sexting, and read one mom’s story about her son sexting.)
Collaborate with your school.
Do: Local law enforcement agencies may be able to come to your child’s school to talk about the laws affecting sexting, which vary between states and can have serious consequences. Distributing explicit photos of minors can carry child pornography charges.
Read your child’s texts.
Do:
- Monitor your child’s phone use — and let them know you do. If they object, explain that you pay the bills. If you find questionable images or texts, talk with your child.
- Restricting their ability to text is another option: many phone plans block images.
Don’t fall behind on the tech tools available.
Don’t assume that because you don’t see sexting on your child’s phone that they aren’t engaging in it. There are apps that allow kids to text messages and images without leaving a trace. Keep an open dialogue with your child about appropriate digital communications.
Appeal to their empathy.
Say: “If you receive a text that would embarrass or hurt someone if it were seen by others, don’t share it.”
Don’t shame your child.
Don’t say: “How could you send a picture like that? What were you thinking?”
Why this approach to sexting matters
Sexting is as much about relationships and sex as it is about technology. Remind teens that respect should be the basis of all relationships and that no one who cares about them should be pressuring them to exchange explicit messages or photos.
Check out The essential guide to managing your child’s behavior and discipline. In our guide, you can see all the aspects of children’s behavior that we cover. Our guide helps you understand your child’s behavior, respond with care, and use discipline effectively.
